Thailand

Of all the places I've visited in Asia, Thailand is the one I regret most for not having spent more time to experience it. It's a fantastic combination of inexpensive, beautiful, interesting, convenient, friendly, and civilized.

I arrived in Bangkok having done about 30 minutes of research on Thailand. Jidesh came in with zero research. We stayed in the backpacker ghetto known as Khao San. This street is a chameleon, turning from charming daytime market to lively evening drinking scene to 3am hustle-fest for the working girls to find a job before the police roll in heavy. The next street north, Ram Butri, offers a much cleaner local scene. It's surprising the difference on block makes.

We did some sight seeing on the first day. We took a water taxi on the filthy river that runs through the city and did a walking tour, seeing Wat Pho and part of the Grand Palace. We went home, and sat out a torrential but typical southeast asia-style downpour. We then visited Patpong, the original Bangkok red light district, which was a mixed experience. King's Castle I was a nice enough go-go bar. I have only one observation to note: all the girls wore a standard white bikini. I noticed one whose bottom tag was showing, and the label was marked "L." She appeared to be about 5'4" and 115lbs. This pretty much exemplifies Thailand; their chaff is our wheat.

But we were interested in a particular show. A hawker lead the way. I asked how much. 100 Baht (3USD)? Yes. Jidesh said he thought he heard 1,000. I asked again. 100 Baht? Yes.

We sat down. Ordered a beer. This place looks kind of sketchy. The show begins. It is not at all what we expected. Terrible, really ... just awful. Then a woman comes by, and screeches "Here is bill. You pay now!" We looked at the paper she had, which claimed we owed 2,600 baht. While this is not problematic from a financial perspective, I can't stand being blatantly ripped off. I refused to pay, insisting we were told 100 baht. Jidesh and I threw down a hundred each on the bar and started to leave. The woman said we couldn't go out that way. In fact, I couldn't see where we had come in at all. I just knew it was in a certain direction, and she was insisting we go the other way. My mind raced. I recalled reading in the Lonely Planet about a common scam involving vastly inflated bills and threats of violence for nonpayment. I was extremely suspicious about being forced to exit a different way than we had entered, especially given the circumstances. I ignored her; I pushed my way back the way I knew we had come in, found a curtain covering a door, thrust the curtain aside, opened the door, and found our way back to the main street.

What just happened? What would have happened if we had gone the way she insisted?

We pondered this in the safety of a sidewalk bar open to the street. This sucks. This is not our scene. What is wrong with all these people?

The next day I organized a day trip to the nearest beach. We'd had enough of Bangkok city life for one trip. I found a driver to drive us all the way to Pattaya and back, a 200+ mile round trip, for a quite reasonable 2,800 baht, with all highway tolls included. Pattaya is not a fantastic beach by Thai standards, but dammit it's a white sand beach and I've spent the last 4 years in a place without a decent beach, and this was the closest I was going to get. We lounged all day. The water was like a hot bath, almost uncomfortable unless you get past your knees. Hawkers walked by showing us increasingly absurd things to buy, such as electric nose hair trimmers. As an aside, Pattaya is popular with the Russian crowd. Ahem.

Our beach day over, we spent the evening in the more relaxed atmosphere of Ram Butri and the nearby environs. Jidesh left the next morning. Due to a planning error on my part (24hr time is confusing), my flight was schedule to leave at Monday 1:20am and not Sunday 1:20pm, so I had the whole of Sunday to kill. I rode a Tuk-Tuk to the Grand Palace, did the full tour, came back, did some souvenir shopping, got a $8 manicure/pedicure (they do a better job for your money in China...), and went to Sukhumvit for a taste of how the expats live. I had some great tex-mex, which is hard to find outside tex or mex, and saw The Dark Night in the VIP section of a movie theater. VIP tickets are almost twice as expensive, but still cheaper than a standard ticket in the US. And you get a comfy reclining chair and service. I hired the same driver who took me to Pattaya to speed me to the airport, spent a sleepless 5 hours aboard China Airlines, and was back in Beijing on Monday at 7am. Jeez. Next time I have to be careful about that AM/PM thing.

Also next time I need to spend more time on the beach. Much, much, more time...